TRANSIENT DARKNESS OF THE SPOTTED MIND

umm...ahhhh..wat the fuck!!!! wat do u do when someone is dyin in front of u and ur not able to do a shit bout it... wats worse is when the entity vanishing is ur own brain child...not tht much effort was put into framing it but still sum strings of hope were attached...are attached i shud say...its so much like LIFE itself...u know it wud end someday but still go on living it..tyring to live it better than others..by makin ur own measures for success..

its high time i get a lil lucid..im talkin of bloggin here...its not tht the past month ve been uneventful..actually it has been a rockin one..the fun never seemed to end..5 days of sparsh masti..joy of winning..and ultimately GO GOA!!! but ALAS!! i cud not make a single post..and now im here makin an entry on WHY I DONT BLOG.

to tell the truth.. i donno wat bloggin is...
IS IT BOUT MAKIN NETWORKS by readin nd commentin nd invitin others ??
IS IT A REGULAR DIARY ENTRY??(reminds me of the journals gr8 ppl kept)
IS IT YET ANOTHER PLATFORM FOR EMOTIONAL EJACULATIONS??(but why is it public then)
why did i start bloggin??(how cud i fall into a sheep herd psyche)
i just write(mostly bull shit)..oblivious of fact if sum1 is readin out ther..
HELLO,IS THER NEBODY IN THER??
i ll continue..its kinda of gud to suppose tht sum1 is actually givin time to wat ur writin..even if the supposition is wrong..i give a damn...
i feel sorry for this blog...it wud ve been happier in some more concerned hands..who wud ve posted more..given it a change of luks..made it more colourful thru pictures..but NOT me...
i will neither give it an euthanasia nor a euphoric life...
LIVE MY BLOG....LIVE LIKE..I DO

LOOSE CONTROL....................

two days into MINDBEND and i ve indeed bended my mind twice(literally!!!)
THE FIRST NIGHT: my mind was under the influence of an artificial mindbender...WHISKY..
consumed a lot of it in very less time..all very NEAT n clean...wid few puffs to accompany it..i had totally surrendered myself to the power of alcohol...and it didnt disappoint me either..gave me pleasure as and when neeeded....i went to listen to PARNAB'S quiz too(yes the tipsy me)..in which every1 is an audience and just an audience..even the participants..that guy keeps on testing his own mettle and refreshes his own blurred memoirs...not of much use for us.. we all open our mouth in exclaimation or a big yawn...and i ve yet 2 figure his detest for derek o'brian..may be he enivies his stardom..but i wud certainly extol him for preserving wat he calls the true art of QUIZZING...

THE SECOND NIGHT: well u cant imagine how risky it is to await a lecture or presentation or even a HYPNOTIC SHOW in these fests....its like a damocle's sword hanging above u..all sorts of ill thoughts come to ur mind..will the guy make just another PPT or will it finally b sumthin substantial..and will leave a mark on that grey matter..after watchin a repeat telecast( of wat for the first time looked like a very good lecture on relevance of our vedic scientific knowledge in contemprary world..but see wat redundancy can do..all the respect tht i had for mr.deodhar i nearly lost..coz) i was expectin sum new fundaes but he just kept glorifyin the same old points...
tht was in the aftrnoon...the night had a HYPNOTIC SHOW in store..i wished(and it later turned out 2 b true) it were more a demo prsntation..with interactions with students and not a 2 hour one way commmunication about hypnosis...eager as i was to be a volunteer for his demo's..i volunteered..there were around 50 in all..this man was going to hypnotize me and others..the thought thrilled me...well then i started following all his intructions...stare at his eyes...stare at the mercury lamp in front...take deep breaths..fine sir...i did it all..coz i wanted to experience the TRANCE..but then i got a bit confused..he told us not to restrict ourselves and let our body free..i already had those titillating sensations in my hand...NOW AN UNKNOWN FORCE IS PULLING U BACK AND U LL FALL INTO THE LAP OF THE PERSON SITTIN BEHIND...sorry sir the force was missing for me..but the fear of being thrown down the stage cmpelled me to lay back..after tht it was more of following his instructions(of course consciously)..the group dance on stage made me nostalgic as it reminded me of my course at art of living..had the same fun after 2 hour of sudarshan kriya...and beleive me ther is nothin like DANCIN FREELY IN FRONT OF SUCH HUGE CROWD..the claps and hootings did hypnotise me..from exercising in gyms to reading nursery rhymes..we were doin all items for the audience..
well i had never got such a bad punishment for cryin...cryin as a 5 year old for milk...Mr. Nagesh was rite there holdin his mic. near my screamin mouth and don know why but my eyes FLICKED...it was for the first time in the whole process but in front of the doctor himself...my fun was over..he humbly asked me to step down with an advice tht i shud try my luck in mumbai...

Rang de BASANTI

a generation awaken's...at least on the celluloid
here is a no non sense movie which could well be a land mark for bollywood..as for me it was a blend of 2 of my favourite movies... DIL CHATA HAI(the first half) and YUVA(later)..so this one could well top the list now...
now wat separates it from the DCH is its sheer relevance to the current national scene...its realism in reelism..YUVA was more about leadership of michael mukherjee than any thing else..it is not tht case wid RDB..against junta's expectations the movie is not an all aamir show by any means...all the actors have got into the skin of their characters and performed superbly..
a.r.rahman is as usual.....................awesome..
no nation is perfect...it is to the citizens that they make it perfect..
the dialogue thts close to my heart is:::
"college ke andar mein hum zindagi ko nachaate hain aur bahar zindagi humein"
yahan meri aukaat hai...bahar kitne DJ gaye aur pis gaye....(how true!!! )
THE BEST ONE(sadly):
"humara ek pair future mein aur doosra past mein hai..isiliye saala present par moot rahe hai"
no other line could better describe today's INDIA...
there is no doubt in my mind that we still have those eyes which unsettled the britishers...
we still r those third breed of people who neither keep silent on their death nor make hues and cries about it....
the oxygen of mis-governance and water of mediocrity(the adjust kar lenge attitude) has rusted our iron within...

Rang de BASANTI

few days back i heard tht some alumni of IIT powaai had made a political party...this movie motivates me 2 joining it in future if it is an ethical one..


PS: while i was writin this Irfan Pathan had a hat trick in the very first over of the test match in karachi..hats off man..AT LEAST HE KNOWS WAT HE HAS 2 DO FOR HIS MOTHERLAND....

an IMPORTANT year AHEAD

come november 06' and i wud testing my mettle in CAT:the mother of all exams coz it tests ur attitude and aptitude[i think the former is more imp.]after a much needed delay i ve finally joined PT as my mentor.it took them only 3 classes to prove tht they did metaphorize the term professionalism.for the first time i feel as if i am a part of a system tht runs on a certain rules.very unlike the life i ve got used to in svnit.
its good to have a reason to wake up early in the morning.its nice to sit in a class where im finally workin out problems.its fun to study VOCAB(tht teacher was awesum man) and if tht was not enough now i have a genuine reason to sleep in the lectures of my borin non-proffs.
as in all even sems this one also has a lil less of studies wid the tech fest and cult fest[cult=FIGHT CLUB] in the pipe.as for me its another chance to feed my gypsy brat apetite.hopefuly i wud b pune for mindbend and jaipur for sparsh.really wanna finish off wid india fast so tht i cud spread my wings across the ocean.
:0)

aN EmoTioNal eJacuLatIon

this is not just about a frustated one sided love affair[FOSLA as they call it here],it's a lot more than that.
i donno how many of us have had a feeling that there is a volcano inside us which is waiting to erupt.give it the required impulse and it would explode wild & furious.we have all been stacking up infinite number of unexpressed feelings inside our fist-sized heart.these feelings are not weak.they don't die out.instead they assemble themselves and wait for a definite moment to rebel out.this stack of feeling is more like a spring[ya F=-kx ].the more tension u apply,the greater restoring force it builds up.

ps: i will end this up in near future.it was important to begin it TODAY.

well its after 2 months tht i am continuing from where i left..the feelings no more the same..only a hazy picture of wat was on my mind tht nite..

full OF void

what is my identity?
how am i different than you?
what is it that makes me a seperate entity and you another?
when i gave a thought upon the above questions, i was puzzled.
after much scratching of the grey material in my head i came to this conclusion.
let me imagine this..what if i move all the stuff out of my room...the bed,desk,chair everything
my room is empty with just four walls,a ceiling and a ground and of course air.
now deprive me of air too..leave me in vacuum..what do we have now?
SPACE
one step more..lets try and remove the space between me and my surroundings too..what would happen..i would collide with the walls,ceiling would touch the ground..in all i would loose my identity..
so thats when i realized that the reason for my existance is the space around me..the volume that encircles me..
if there is no space between you and me..we would be same..may be thats why the universe is expanding too..
at the end of the days..after the armageddon..there would be no space..all of us would collide to form one ultimate soul..may be we would create the almighty..the small god that we all have inside us would unite to generate the supreme power..
this would be a reversal of the BIG BANG and the world would have completed its vicious circle..so till then enjoy the space that you have..

e-summit@iitb( entertainment summit!!)

well i got a reason to go and meet my friend..so why shud i need reasons??
thats b'coz im the laziest soul that god made..i always tend to do things with the minimum work done path..and spent half of my time in searching such paths..
so the entrepreneurship summit was a 2 day affair full of lectures,workshops and competitions related to e'ship..i felt as if junta came searchin for a ready made formula for success...questioning big guns like SUBHASH CHANDRA on how he became so successful?? his reply"hard work, determination,persevarance blah blah blah..."(the honest man did gave 5% credit to luck factor also)..may be that multiplexer mr. shroff was correct in sayin that to be an entrepreneur we need to have a fire burning within ourselves..we shud be self motivated..
whatever it is i will find out once i reach there..i promise to tell u all about it then..
however the purpose was more than fulfilled as i had good time in playing gladiator(the simulation) , boozing and fagging..
i was nostalgic..the memories of MI floats whenever im in iit..missed ad..but also got more determined to relive such moments in near future...may an idol of PLEASURE(murti) also accompany us this time...

p.s. this is the first time im being narcissistic while blogging..may be that is what i need to be to keep my blog alive..AND WHAT ABOUT LIFE??

AM I A NIHILIST???

NIHILISM: a system of thoughts which says that there are no principles or beliefs which have any meaning or can be true
well.. Why am i doing this?? i should not..but it's high time i thought upon this..
Why do i feel that the world is in complete mayhem? nothing seems to be going the way it should be.
Is it just me who is suffering or everyone? and yes why do i get pleasure in this pain.
Why do i feel i have conquered the world? the war ended and victory is mine.
Why don't i find a single evil soul on earth and yet claim that the planet is nothing but a gobbet of shit.
Why can't i find logic in the ways of nature? i feel it loves unsymmetry more.
Why do i find oscar wilde more appealing than gandhi??
Why don't i rejoice on births and mourn upon deaths? its so difficult to accept that someone is really governing our world..sum1 who knows when it is the right time to liberate a soul from the body..i really don't take that crap..how could the death of an infant who has not yet seen the world be justified..now i wont buy the concept of rebirth..no sorry i don't beleive in it..
Why can't i write down what i am feeling? the moment is lost. i had so much.now i have nothing.
Why do the answers look like questions to me?
Why am i going on...i should stop.................................

CAUSE & EFFECT

well every time AMD(our contol's prof.) talks about cause and effect i feel as if it is the most basic funda of life..all effects are precceded by a cause..voltage-->current,happiness-->laughter,pain-->tears all are effects of some cause...this is the law of science if cause is there an effect will follow..well what if add vice versa to the previous statement..can a cause follow an effect..i had this discussion with one of my uncle..BE THE EFECT AND LET THE CAUSE FOLLOW YOU..sounds weird but it is practically possible..
Current can create potential too that we all know so this is a case of cause-effect interchange..what if we have a tree..we already have millions of seed then..so we se that this forms a loop and so a symbiotic association may exist between cause and effect.
I feel its easier to create the effect because effect depends upon us but cause doesn't.if we create the effect the cause will follow.if we decide to be happy we are releasing ourselves from bondaries of cause.what if i say "I LL BE HAPPY IF I GET A CGPA OF 8" then im depending upon the cgpa(cause).instead i would prefer to act free and will remain happy.the cause is in the surrounding...only if i decide to be the effect the universe would conspire to create the cause.
Now what if i take this theory to another level and start living a lavish life on the lines of Vijay Mallya or L.N.Mittal and hope that the money follows....wat do u say???

la vita è bella

yes im talkin bout the master piece from Roberto Benigni...life has not been the same since i watched this movie...absolutely marvellous..a movie more to be felt than watched(few of those who think im exaggerating please watch it once more)...making good movies is indeed an art and it becomes quite challenging if your script demands a set up of 1939(though the movie would ve been good enough if it were to depict today's life but life is best glorified under the shades of death..and what else could better signify the ugly dance of death than the second world war..the worst catastrophe ever)..

so here are few thoughts from the movie which might compel you to watch it once more..

• Sunflower bow to sun..if they are too bowed down, mean they are dead..You are serving, not a servant.Serving is a supreme art.God is the first servant.God serves man but he is not a servant.
• Our race is supreme : an unmarked scene of the movie but quite moving never the less.the students being given lectures upon racism when they can hardly diffrenciate between colours(not the colour of skin mind you)
• SCHOPENHAUER : with will power we can do anything(our Guido didn't understood schopenhauer but he certainly did any and eveything with his willpower)
• The Obssesed Doctor : questioned the waiter"bigger it is, Less you SEE it" and our hero replied "DARKNESS"...well this was just to show that he was very witty but in the end when the doctor meets him in the c(h)ell... instead of thinking to help Guedo he is just sharing riddles with him.this was the height of inhumanity.
• Life -a game of 1000 points : yes it all begins when Guido filters the harsh realities of the world before they could reach his son Joshua...and if somehow they did, he made him believe that these were tricks played by opponents so that he might loose some points in the game they were playing(this fits very well in our life too where many of our anti are planning against us)..life would have been easier to play than to live..after all we have a motive when we are playing a game..to WIN

What if life really were a game..score 1000 points first and take home a tank,a real tank(or what ever u wish to take)..Guido was a larger than life character who extracted positives from any situation..or was it the love of his son that made him wink at death itself...i knew he would die in the end..but how could a man like him die..why couldn't he fool death..why didn't he use Schopenhauer law on death(I wanna live,i wanna live)..or he could ve cried Oh! virgin mary give me life and life he was awarded..but no such thing happened..Guedo died..sacrificed his life..and the game did come to an end..Joshua stood first right in front of the REAL TANK he had won.

FEELINGS ARE NOT FAECES(or r they???)

well the title may seem to b a little out of the way..feelings being compared to faeces..now come on we ve infinite better metaphors for feelings and emotions..but then the tilte is about wat feelins aren't than wat they actually are(to explain the latter is not my cup of tea)..well last nite i was into a byzantine conversation with a very close friend of mine..(as all gr8 things this was also on the net i.e. chatting)
it was myself who had started askin bout her gf(or shud i sayX gf)..well may be im not able to tell the full story but the highlights of the talk were only a few unanswered questions..
why can't we be rational in love or can practical person(like we engg.) ever fall in the ditch named love?
i will brief u bout our love birds(or doves to be precise)..the guy is into his third year engg. from IIT powaii..u know wat it takes to get ther--SACRIFICES..many of them..i know he won't like this but he has missed sum quality time that some of we other friends spent only to get where he is now...the very summit of achievements as for a teen..
the gal is into her MBA first year from b'lore(now distance does matters) and as far as i know she is a sensible girl(but after all she is a girl)..
so they became net frenz and talkd and met and liked each other and fell in luv(..and finally look like departin)..
so wat was the problem..well as the guy is my friend the problem obviously was the gal..she needed sum commitments..marrying and all that..now as a practical person the guy tries his best to keep his stand,sort things out but life is not so beautiful..
now back to wher i started..the guy doesn't wanna loose her completely but the problem is he can't ve her all either..so wat shud he do???he won't commit(actually he can't coz success has just touched his feet and he has to reach the heights)..
CAN WE TRANSFORM LOVE INTO FRIENDSHIP??
this was his question to which i instantaneously answered FEELINGS ARE NOT FAECES..we just can't flush away the present emotions that we ve for sum1 and install some new ones...life would ve been much easier that way..every morning freshen up urself for some new feelings towards ne1..no my friend its sort of a database..every single moment that u ve spent with that girl is stored..and thts why it keeps knockin back..u keep on missin her..
so what's the solution..well its already there and is always there..the unisyllable, fourth dimension better known as TIME..they were rite who said its the best healer..indeed it is..so i hope we see the guy gettin over all this and makin his mark in this world..(and in my world too coz its not the same as his i guesss)...

rendezvous

hereby i welcome myself to the world of bloggin..may it spice up my life a lil bit more..