Nothin Changes...Definitely,Maybe

I just figured out that i am still the same...i always have been..this stereotyped emotional fool..i still get a heavy heart watchin these "stupid" movies..just as i used to.. say 10 years back..a lot has happened over these years..i should have changed!!!but no...i didn't..bad relations should worn one down..failures should inhibit initiations..the pain at the end of the tunnel should be visible..apply the principle of conservatism...account for all the bad that people could do to you..stop sharing..too much..too soon...or dont tell anyone..anything..at all...ever

Thats all that i should do but i would never do...

life should not always be an experiment..even if it is..there should be a result outta it..i believe i have let my life too loose...it doesnt listen to me anymore..its busy hanging out with these other "LIFE" pals that it has got...it listens to them..shares with them..kinda stays away from me..My Life is ignoring me!!! i am convinced..
Probably I have myself to blame for this.I didn't give it enough..now it runs to those who show a lil concern nd care..acts a hungry beggar...a LIFE can have no other "absolute" friends except its master..2 lives are actually the most selfish companions..they just look for trade-offs..bitches..actually my life is an idiot like me...gets high!!!gets addicted!!for-gets!!gets on again!!!SCARY....

Reconciliation

wiping the floor of memories....the unfortunate child of destiny...the lucky son of misfortune..here i am realising life as it comes..LIFE.ya u heard it rite.im talkin about it....u wishd if it were death instead....and it would have been a lot easier..but NO it's life after all which u ve have to fight and not death...So why are we BORN!!!!to DIE or to LIVE..big question HA!!!we are all boen to live the PULSE..move our fingers beween the cords of life..high hopes.. tht may be sumtime gud muziq comes out of ur life too.....the dice have ...rolled..the ringin bells surround meh... eleviate meCOME ON if not u then who????

flashes.holes,red,blue.green....ohh it was words tht were on fire.........thank thee for being ther wid mee when the is no one else.. we are alone and im lovin it :)
4dmdfg


where were u?????'
when i










PS: i was high writing this and could not go any further.

TRANSIENT DARKNESS OF THE SPOTTED MIND

umm...ahhhh..wat the fuck!!!! wat do u do when someone is dyin in front of u and ur not able to do a shit bout it... wats worse is when the entity vanishing is ur own brain child...not tht much effort was put into framing it but still sum strings of hope were attached...are attached i shud say...its so much like LIFE itself...u know it wud end someday but still go on living it..tyring to live it better than others..by makin ur own measures for success..

its high time i get a lil lucid..im talkin of bloggin here...its not tht the past month ve been uneventful..actually it has been a rockin one..the fun never seemed to end..5 days of sparsh masti..joy of winning..and ultimately GO GOA!!! but ALAS!! i cud not make a single post..and now im here makin an entry on WHY I DONT BLOG.

to tell the truth.. i donno wat bloggin is...
IS IT BOUT MAKIN NETWORKS by readin nd commentin nd invitin others ??
IS IT A REGULAR DIARY ENTRY??(reminds me of the journals gr8 ppl kept)
IS IT YET ANOTHER PLATFORM FOR EMOTIONAL EJACULATIONS??(but why is it public then)
why did i start bloggin??(how cud i fall into a sheep herd psyche)
i just write(mostly bull shit)..oblivious of fact if sum1 is readin out ther..
HELLO,IS THER NEBODY IN THER??
i ll continue..its kinda of gud to suppose tht sum1 is actually givin time to wat ur writin..even if the supposition is wrong..i give a damn...
i feel sorry for this blog...it wud ve been happier in some more concerned hands..who wud ve posted more..given it a change of luks..made it more colourful thru pictures..but NOT me...
i will neither give it an euthanasia nor a euphoric life...
LIVE MY BLOG....LIVE LIKE..I DO

LOOSE CONTROL....................

two days into MINDBEND and i ve indeed bended my mind twice(literally!!!)
THE FIRST NIGHT: my mind was under the influence of an artificial mindbender...WHISKY..
consumed a lot of it in very less time..all very NEAT n clean...wid few puffs to accompany it..i had totally surrendered myself to the power of alcohol...and it didnt disappoint me either..gave me pleasure as and when neeeded....i went to listen to PARNAB'S quiz too(yes the tipsy me)..in which every1 is an audience and just an audience..even the participants..that guy keeps on testing his own mettle and refreshes his own blurred memoirs...not of much use for us.. we all open our mouth in exclaimation or a big yawn...and i ve yet 2 figure his detest for derek o'brian..may be he enivies his stardom..but i wud certainly extol him for preserving wat he calls the true art of QUIZZING...

THE SECOND NIGHT: well u cant imagine how risky it is to await a lecture or presentation or even a HYPNOTIC SHOW in these fests....its like a damocle's sword hanging above u..all sorts of ill thoughts come to ur mind..will the guy make just another PPT or will it finally b sumthin substantial..and will leave a mark on that grey matter..after watchin a repeat telecast( of wat for the first time looked like a very good lecture on relevance of our vedic scientific knowledge in contemprary world..but see wat redundancy can do..all the respect tht i had for mr.deodhar i nearly lost..coz) i was expectin sum new fundaes but he just kept glorifyin the same old points...
tht was in the aftrnoon...the night had a HYPNOTIC SHOW in store..i wished(and it later turned out 2 b true) it were more a demo prsntation..with interactions with students and not a 2 hour one way commmunication about hypnosis...eager as i was to be a volunteer for his demo's..i volunteered..there were around 50 in all..this man was going to hypnotize me and others..the thought thrilled me...well then i started following all his intructions...stare at his eyes...stare at the mercury lamp in front...take deep breaths..fine sir...i did it all..coz i wanted to experience the TRANCE..but then i got a bit confused..he told us not to restrict ourselves and let our body free..i already had those titillating sensations in my hand...NOW AN UNKNOWN FORCE IS PULLING U BACK AND U LL FALL INTO THE LAP OF THE PERSON SITTIN BEHIND...sorry sir the force was missing for me..but the fear of being thrown down the stage cmpelled me to lay back..after tht it was more of following his instructions(of course consciously)..the group dance on stage made me nostalgic as it reminded me of my course at art of living..had the same fun after 2 hour of sudarshan kriya...and beleive me ther is nothin like DANCIN FREELY IN FRONT OF SUCH HUGE CROWD..the claps and hootings did hypnotise me..from exercising in gyms to reading nursery rhymes..we were doin all items for the audience..
well i had never got such a bad punishment for cryin...cryin as a 5 year old for milk...Mr. Nagesh was rite there holdin his mic. near my screamin mouth and don know why but my eyes FLICKED...it was for the first time in the whole process but in front of the doctor himself...my fun was over..he humbly asked me to step down with an advice tht i shud try my luck in mumbai...

Rang de BASANTI

a generation awaken's...at least on the celluloid
here is a no non sense movie which could well be a land mark for bollywood..as for me it was a blend of 2 of my favourite movies... DIL CHATA HAI(the first half) and YUVA(later)..so this one could well top the list now...
now wat separates it from the DCH is its sheer relevance to the current national scene...its realism in reelism..YUVA was more about leadership of michael mukherjee than any thing else..it is not tht case wid RDB..against junta's expectations the movie is not an all aamir show by any means...all the actors have got into the skin of their characters and performed superbly..
a.r.rahman is as usual.....................awesome..
no nation is perfect...it is to the citizens that they make it perfect..
the dialogue thts close to my heart is:::
"college ke andar mein hum zindagi ko nachaate hain aur bahar zindagi humein"
yahan meri aukaat hai...bahar kitne DJ gaye aur pis gaye....(how true!!! )
THE BEST ONE(sadly):
"humara ek pair future mein aur doosra past mein hai..isiliye saala present par moot rahe hai"
no other line could better describe today's INDIA...
there is no doubt in my mind that we still have those eyes which unsettled the britishers...
we still r those third breed of people who neither keep silent on their death nor make hues and cries about it....
the oxygen of mis-governance and water of mediocrity(the adjust kar lenge attitude) has rusted our iron within...

Rang de BASANTI

few days back i heard tht some alumni of IIT powaai had made a political party...this movie motivates me 2 joining it in future if it is an ethical one..


PS: while i was writin this Irfan Pathan had a hat trick in the very first over of the test match in karachi..hats off man..AT LEAST HE KNOWS WAT HE HAS 2 DO FOR HIS MOTHERLAND....

an IMPORTANT year AHEAD

come november 06' and i wud testing my mettle in CAT:the mother of all exams coz it tests ur attitude and aptitude[i think the former is more imp.]after a much needed delay i ve finally joined PT as my mentor.it took them only 3 classes to prove tht they did metaphorize the term professionalism.for the first time i feel as if i am a part of a system tht runs on a certain rules.very unlike the life i ve got used to in svnit.
its good to have a reason to wake up early in the morning.its nice to sit in a class where im finally workin out problems.its fun to study VOCAB(tht teacher was awesum man) and if tht was not enough now i have a genuine reason to sleep in the lectures of my borin non-proffs.
as in all even sems this one also has a lil less of studies wid the tech fest and cult fest[cult=FIGHT CLUB] in the pipe.as for me its another chance to feed my gypsy brat apetite.hopefuly i wud b pune for mindbend and jaipur for sparsh.really wanna finish off wid india fast so tht i cud spread my wings across the ocean.
:0)

aN EmoTioNal eJacuLatIon

this is not just about a frustated one sided love affair[FOSLA as they call it here],it's a lot more than that.
i donno how many of us have had a feeling that there is a volcano inside us which is waiting to erupt.give it the required impulse and it would explode wild & furious.we have all been stacking up infinite number of unexpressed feelings inside our fist-sized heart.these feelings are not weak.they don't die out.instead they assemble themselves and wait for a definite moment to rebel out.this stack of feeling is more like a spring[ya F=-kx ].the more tension u apply,the greater restoring force it builds up.

ps: i will end this up in near future.it was important to begin it TODAY.

well its after 2 months tht i am continuing from where i left..the feelings no more the same..only a hazy picture of wat was on my mind tht nite..